Thursday, May 17, 2012

My Calling?

So I FINALLY (almost a year later) watched the last few Oprah Winfrey shows. They’ve been on my DVR since last May.

I ran out of space & missed a few of my key shows…a couple season finales & semi-finals of Dancing with the Stars. I know, I can watch these online. It’s lame but this is me, it’s who I am.
So, I deleted a few shows & decided I would finally watch the last few shows of The Oprah Winfrey Show and then delete them.

I didn’t watch Oprah regularly. I caught the show if I was home sick, or saw an ad and she had someone on who I really wanted to see, or sometimes I caught the show during one of the many times I was unemployed.
Little did I know when I decided to watch them last night that The Oprah Winfrey Show finale, was exactly what I needed…at that time, in that place.

They say that things come into your life when they are supposed to. Who would’ve thought that a TV show taped a year ago would be exactly what I needed. I’m not that surprised cause it’s OPRAH!
There were so many messages in this last show that I’m probably going to be mentioning this show again in future posts because so many of the themes spoke to me now. Here’s the one I decided to write about today.

WE ALL HAVE A CALLING.


Our real job in life is to figure out what our calling is, and to get about doing it. Oprah did. Many others do.

She said that people who’ve been on her show who have been successful have spoken of the joy and “the juice” that they feel every day.  They know that they are doing what they were MEANT to do. They are where they are supposed to be, doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing.

But me, I am stuck.
It’s been that way for awhile now. I go through phases when I just buzz along – La-La-La….not paying much attention, content to just go along with life. But then the discontent creeps in, I feel heavy, but not in a good solid grounded way. I become apathetic and just go from one thing to the next – day to day. Not excited most of the time, just existing.

Then, I get to the apex where I just STOP. I take a look around and know that this feeling has been lightly floating on the surface, but now it’s all bubbled to the top and if I don’t figure out what the hell is going on and get out of this funk, then my head will just explode.
So…as I mentioned earlier, Oprah’s final show – JUST WHAT I NEEDED.

I’ve started many books on the subject on discovering your strengths and talents, finding what you should be doing with your life, how to find the best you, find a career that fits with your beliefs, talents and personality, etc.
Maybe part of the reason is that I don’t go full in when I read these books. I don’t do all the work. I get distracted by other things. Maybe it’s because I’ll get fearful of what I’ll discover (a whole other post coming soon on Fear).

And I’ve realized that this doesn’t have to be about what I do for work - How I make my living. It can be about a hobby that gives me fulfillment, volunteer work that services others, being a good listener to a friend in need, giving a stranger a helping hand, anything that makes me stop and realize – THIS IS IT. This is what I am supposed to do with my life.
I told you when I started “Living Life by the Seat of Your Pants” that I would be open. So, here I am.

I think a big part of why I’m feeling this way is because I’m now 45 and the true realization that I probably won’t get pregnant and have any children of my own is finally hitting home and I have to take that in and live with it. Be with it.
Since it’s the only thing I ever really and truly knew I wanted from my life, and what I thought would be my main purpose for being on this planet it’s quite a hard pill to swallow.

But, here’s my reality. Here’s my tomorrow. Here’s my Now.
So now that I’ve let this realization sink in, all these underlying questions hover in my mind, and sometimes slam against my head – more often than not it seems.

If what I thought would be my main focus in life (at least for 18 or so years) isn’t in my sphere of what is true for me, what is my purpose of being here and how do I start to live the rest of my life?
Am I happy with where I am now? I know I’m not, so what am I going to do about it?

It’s time to get to work and find out.
  • How can I best contribute to life?
  • What should I be when I grow up?
  • I am here for a reason. What IS that reason?
  • How can I be of service to others?
  • What can I do to illuminate the world?
So the time is NOW to answer these questions, to take action – to get out of this funk and to get unstuck.

I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times, and you’ll hear it a million times more – Thank You Oprah!
I’ve listened as the whisper became louder, had an “Aha” moment, and have started today to take action, and will continue to take responsibility for my own life, charter my own path, and hopefully, I will soon discover My Calling.

1 comment:

  1. Jennifer Blair BaierMay 18, 2012 at 5:26 AM

    Mothers come in all different shapes and sizes, and by that I mean that my sisters and friends have "mothered" my kids along the way (and continue to do so) in many important ways, and always in the moment that I, for whatever reason, am falling short. You are amazing -- don't give up and hold on to that knowledge that you are a daughter of God who loves you and YES you have a purpose!

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