The Hazards of Exercising

I am of the belief that if I had a personal trainer, a nutritionist, a stylist, a top-notch hair stylist and a make-up artist I would be in shape & simply FABULOUS. HELL, it works for the reality "Stars"!

from Laugh 'Til the Mascara Runs - 2012 calendar
Copyright Hallmark Licensing, Inc.
Sellers Publishing, Inc.    www.makefun.com

What it comes down to is this....I'm lazy, I have a bad back and am out of shape. I work in Marketing & PR so I'm sitting on my ass 8-10 hours a day. The only exercise I get is when I go to the restroom, or walk up and down the 2 flights of stairs to go smoke. Then, I'm tired & it's time to go home...and watch TV (I do LOVE my DVR) or read (Thanks again for Nook Tablet M&D&J).

Also, certain exercises tend to be hazardous if you have certain assets...my natural hazards are my big boobs (Genes...enough said).

 

Running - out of the question. I'll end up with 2 black eyes if I try that. And don't even get me started on the bicycle exercise where you life your legs and then stretch them over head and your toes touch the floor behind you...I almost smothered myself with that one a few years back!

I do LOVE to DANCE! It's absolutely my favorite activity...well, my favorite activity you can do legally in public. But, it's really hard to find a place where a forty-something can be comfortable and really get down & boogie. There is Jazzercise (which I never liked, my opinion), and newer versions like Core Rhythyms or Zumba, but you need to already be in shape just to get through a class!

I did take Ballroom Dancing. I really enjoyed it, but the only affordable classes for me were the group ones - and after taking the same ones 2-3 times, I felt like they were too slow a pace for me since I used to dance. I wanted to learn more advanced moves and routines. What they say about Ballroom dancing not being easy...they are right! There is so much technique involved...it's unbelievable. It's fun though & it was something I could see myself excelling in and benefitting from, but private lessons = too $$$.

If they had a reality show like "Dancing with the Stars" or "So You Think You Can Dance" but for older, non-famous people and if I got paid enough to take a 5-month break from work so I could still pay my bills...and who wouldn't want to pair up with Dmitry Chaplin or Tristan MacManus (I think me & Maksim Chmerkovskiy would kill each other...although he could probably actually pronounce my last name AND he was able to partner the buxom Kirstie Alley nicely, although they're both about a foot taller than me so it would probably be easier)...I'd be first in line for THAT audition!!!

When I really thought about it, it came down to this...I started gaining weight my senior year of high school. That was when I stopped dancing regularly. I didn't realize then that 2 hours of regular exercise a week could keep you from gaining weight. Ok. So, I was a teenager & also ran my butt off working at McDonald's - but still!

My teacher wouldn't let me into a lyrical ballet class (now it'd be known as Contemporary - I'd be soooo good, I emote so well) that consisted of all my teammates from the "Evil Teacher Name Here" Dancers (Yes, I still have some issues to resolve there)...so, I FINALLY took a stand and quit dancing that year.

It was my senior year of high school, so I knew I'd be busy with other things - BMHS Musical, boyfriend, senior social activities, work, prom, senior trip, etc). It took me 15 or so years to figure out that those 2 hours of steady dancing were the main straw that helped me to continually gain weight to help break the camels back.

So...the moral of the story for all you youngins out there is...stay active throughout your whole life - even if it's a few hours a week. Find an activity you love to do (or several) and as the Nike ads say..."Just Do It".

After writing this I guess I should go take a walk instead of plunking down on the couch for the night...but I didn't see "Castle" last night, but it is DVR'd...decisions, decisions...