I’m a firm believer that envy can be both good and bad. I’m
sure there is much disagreement to this statement, and I’m sure I’ll hear about
it.
You can be envious of someone or a group of people because you covet what they have or envy the good things that are happening to them – especially when you feel stuck, unmoving and unchanging yourself.
I really am happy & thrilled for a person or group of people, but at the onset of hearing news sometimes I seem to say to myself, “Why him/her/them and not me?”, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I have that?” - I’ve done it a few times recently and I’m not proud of myself.
And, it makes you feel bad when you are TRULY happy for someone – it’s usually someone close to you – a friend (or more recently, their kid), a sibling, a cousin, a co-worker – and then of course, you feel REALLY BAD and GUILTY for having these negative feelings.
Well, at least I do.
I really hate when these initial reactions happen, but they do. I acknowledge feeling this way, search to find the reason why, and then make a conscious choice to decide if I am going to stay feeling like that or if I am going to brush those initial feelings aside and embrace the feelings that are really in my heart.
I have to shake my head to dispel these thoughts the second they pop into my head and then take a breather, reach down into myself to change my thoughts and replace the negative energy with what I am truly feeling for him/her/them – happiness, warmth, congratulations, love, gratefulness, pride, enthusiasm.
As I said at the onset, envy & jealousy can be positive and negative in my opinion…A good outcome of jealousy and envy is that it makes us discover that we’re envious because we want more, and we can now move to figuring out what that is and to take action to change…whether it be a new job, a move, a relationship, to lose weight, to get in shape, to become a better person, to give more of ourselves to others, etc. – these feelings help us to strive for something better than what we have, to help us grow.
Jealousy and envy when it’s mean, and negative actions are taken and people are hurt – both verbally and physically – there is no good that can come from that (future post topic - bullying).
A perfect example of the negative jealousy or envy that’s misplaced and disappears eventually, is when you don’t “Like” someone when you are younger & then in your adulthood, all that fabrication and issues you had melt away - just ask some of my Facebook friends! When they wanted to “friend” me I thought it was strange because I remember we didn’t “like” each other – most of it was rivalry of some sort – a boy one liked who went out with the other, the perception of one being smarter, prettier, having more talents, cliques, low self esteem issues…now, I think if we talked about it, we would have a giggle fest!
So…here I am thinking about some recent events that had the green monster of envy trying to push its way through my door. Luckily, I just let him open the door, take a quick peek outside, cause a little bit of havoc & then I slammed the door in his growling, snarling muzzle! Next time, I'll just block the door!
You can be envious of someone or a group of people because you covet what they have or envy the good things that are happening to them – especially when you feel stuck, unmoving and unchanging yourself.
I really am happy & thrilled for a person or group of people, but at the onset of hearing news sometimes I seem to say to myself, “Why him/her/them and not me?”, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I have that?” - I’ve done it a few times recently and I’m not proud of myself.
And, it makes you feel bad when you are TRULY happy for someone – it’s usually someone close to you – a friend (or more recently, their kid), a sibling, a cousin, a co-worker – and then of course, you feel REALLY BAD and GUILTY for having these negative feelings.
Well, at least I do.
I really hate when these initial reactions happen, but they do. I acknowledge feeling this way, search to find the reason why, and then make a conscious choice to decide if I am going to stay feeling like that or if I am going to brush those initial feelings aside and embrace the feelings that are really in my heart.
I have to shake my head to dispel these thoughts the second they pop into my head and then take a breather, reach down into myself to change my thoughts and replace the negative energy with what I am truly feeling for him/her/them – happiness, warmth, congratulations, love, gratefulness, pride, enthusiasm.
As I said at the onset, envy & jealousy can be positive and negative in my opinion…A good outcome of jealousy and envy is that it makes us discover that we’re envious because we want more, and we can now move to figuring out what that is and to take action to change…whether it be a new job, a move, a relationship, to lose weight, to get in shape, to become a better person, to give more of ourselves to others, etc. – these feelings help us to strive for something better than what we have, to help us grow.
Jealousy and envy when it’s mean, and negative actions are taken and people are hurt – both verbally and physically – there is no good that can come from that (future post topic - bullying).
A perfect example of the negative jealousy or envy that’s misplaced and disappears eventually, is when you don’t “Like” someone when you are younger & then in your adulthood, all that fabrication and issues you had melt away - just ask some of my Facebook friends! When they wanted to “friend” me I thought it was strange because I remember we didn’t “like” each other – most of it was rivalry of some sort – a boy one liked who went out with the other, the perception of one being smarter, prettier, having more talents, cliques, low self esteem issues…now, I think if we talked about it, we would have a giggle fest!
So…here I am thinking about some recent events that had the green monster of envy trying to push its way through my door. Luckily, I just let him open the door, take a quick peek outside, cause a little bit of havoc & then I slammed the door in his growling, snarling muzzle! Next time, I'll just block the door!
Next time look though the peep hole & don't open the door. ;)) Love your blog. It makes me ponder my own life, and smile at the way you handle things.
ReplyDeleteaunt Gerry J