Home Is Where the Heart Is...

I haven’t lived in Massachusetts for almost 19 years. Yet, as I sit in my parent’s kitchen I know that this is home and always will be…even if they are the ones to move.

I still tell people when I leave San Diego to come to Mass that, “I’m going home.” Whether it’s for a week, a month or longer – time does not matter.

It’s possible that I may never come back to live….or, I could, who knows? I don’t.

Mom asks me every time I get laid off (which for those of you who know my track record, is about every 3 years), “So, are you moving back?”

This time, I told her I’m waiting for divine intervention, whether it’s for a job or just because it’s time for me to leave SoCal…or stay in California. I don’t know. And that’s okay with me…for now.

Massachusetts is where the highest concentration of my family is, even though some have left – to Texas, New Hampshire, Florida, New Jersey, North Carolina, Virginia, New York, California, and others have never lived here – Hawaii, Pennsylvania, Maryland, this is still Home - to me.

People ask me why I moved to San Diego and I tell them the story of how my Mom’s best friends’ daughter who used to babysit me and who we’ve known since I was four (basically my big sister), was living in San Diego and she tried to urge me to come out there – maybe go to college there. I didn’t.

But when I was in my “first real job” after college for about a year, I finally made my flight plans in April to go to San Diego in June, and the next the day there was a reorganization at my work and I could have been laid off, but they kept me on until June and then laid me off – so I took it as a sign that maybe it was time to venture out into the world - divine intervention mingled with me making a choice.

So, I went to San Diego for a few weeks, came back & in September drove with “big sis”. Figured I’d be there for a year or two…Alas, it’s been almost 19 years.  Talk about time flying!

I have never had tons and tons of friends (although you wouldn’t know it by my 1050+ Facebook friends ;D ) – but Social Media has done wonders for connecting with old friends, family, business associates, classmates who weren’t so friendly (but I guess time and maturity heals those wounds), family you’ve never met, and starting relationships and maintaining them with new people you meet.

Now, I have connected with people and when I’m home I try to see them, and when I’m 3,000 miles away I miss them but can still stay in touch.  It’s very amusing when I think of it, that if I chose to move back I will have a larger group of friends to see and hang out with than when I left!

So I sit in my parent’s kitchen - watch Dad eat lunch and read a book, wait for Mom to come home from the grocery store, anticipate seeing my sister and cousin tonight, and hope to see my adorable niece, and brother and sister-in-law again before I leave, I finish this post and think about moving back and what that would bring. I still have no idea one way or another, and am waiting for divine intervention to step in and pinch me – with me having the choice. But, I’m glad that for right now - I Am Home.

Land of the Free and Home of the Brave

I am truly and utterly blessed to have been born and raised in the United States of America. And as we have just celebrated the 237^th Birthday of our grand nation – I am even more blessed to be an American WOMAN.

We all have our own personal problems, and as we are going through whatever it is, it seems to be the most important thing in the…and at the time – it is. Our friends and families get sick, people we know and love die, pregnant women miscarry or a parents’ child is lost far too early, women and children are violated and abused, people murder each other, tragedies & inexplicable horrors happen – and we hear about it far too much and far too quickly – no matter how distant from our own “little world” it is.

BUT, if you are an American, you are born (or should be) – FREE to become whoever you are meant to be. I know there are things that prevent every American, Hell, every person on this Earth from rising to and even above their potential. As someone recently reminded me…everyone has potential – no matter what the area.

It’s true that women weren’t allowed the inalienable right to vote until 1922…it took quite a long time, BUT eventually the right we were born as Americans to have – came.

There are, however, some wrongs that still need to be righted…the majority of the time we don’t earn as much as our male counterparts, the leaders – in both business, as well as political are not women, and we get dinged for taking off time to have children (and yet if we didn’t, the population would eventually die out).

And most of that is because of how it was at the time of our nation’s birth. Women took care of the household, the children, cooking, etc.   BUT some of them also worked the land…in addition to all those “womanly duties” and this is how it’s been for the most part, in most places – since time began.

My 10 year old cousin says she wants to be the President of the United States. If she sticks to this path, and since she won’t be able to be for another 25 years, I really hope she isn’t the first Madame President. And, as an American female, in 2013 – this option is available to her should she continue on this road to reach her highest potential.

But at the end of the day…I am a free American and I can do whatever I want to within the laws as set forth by the individual state and local governments, as well as the federal government of the United States of America. I don’t have to cover my hair, my face or the bulk of my body. I do not have to walk with anyone or behind someone. I can read what I like, watch what I wish to, and eat what I can make or afford to buy.

I am proud, honored and eternally grateful to be an American Woman – Thank God I was born in the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave! Hallelujah!

Heavy Head. Heavy Heart.

My head is very heavy. There’s this pressure right in the center and it feels like the rest of my head is floaty and being squeezed in a vice – all at the same time. And, it’s folding in on itself. I’m not sure if it’s my sinuses acting up, or all these random thoughts that pop in & out of my head - what seems like every nanosecond.

Sometimes I can just let it leave my mind – float away as if on a cloud. At other times, I know the thought path I’m headed down is a treacherous road to take and the thoughts seem to linger and fester until whatever I’m thinking about turns obsessive and consumes me, and I have to forcefully and with great effort push it out and dust my brain off-again. What a vicious circle in the web of life.

It could be my sinuses or the heat at Lestat’s on Park. The place is open and spacious & I’m always cold in coffee houses and cafes. Not sure what the hell is going on here. It’s funny because I was trying to concentrate on writing the Blog post I was ghost-writing and all the while getting a little aggravated with each new noise going on around me – the banging of the espresso machine filter, people talking, the slamming of the screen door (why can’t they just close it slowly & quietly?). Of course I could have stayed at home – but I just knew I needed to get out of the house to be productive today.

It could be that I was stressing out over ghost-writing the blog post – which I should have completed and sent last week, but I forgot most of the week and when I finally remembered, I couldn’t get motivated or clear my head enough to concentrate and get down to it. Even though my head doesn’t feel clear I got down to it, finished and submitted.

Last week I had some nails that were progressing very nicely. This week – they are all gone.  They all cracked on the edges and broke – like they always do. I guess that is good – I’m starting over, again, from scratch. Or, is it just a rehash of what happened the last time my fingernails grew...and eventually broke off? Like I said earlier - vicious circle; web of life.

I’m trying to look at this as it is – yet another opportunity for my fingernails to grow – that is the only expectation and pre-conceived notion I have on the matter. Otherwise the slate is empty.

Unfortunately, even though we want to think that our slate is crisp and clean, all shiny and new - it really isn’t. All our past experiences – good and bad – have formed the shape that is each of us today – now.  

People tell me I should take this time I have to write the book that I mentioned in my first blog post, but I can’t even seem to get motivated and write my blog posts with any regularity – so this may not be the time.

I really have no fear which is funny to me, because that is usually what stops me in my tracks. Fear of failure. Not so much this time. It’s because I have absolutely no expectations or preconceived notions at this time in the “project” – no plans. I’m just going to approach it like almost everything else – by the seat of my pants.

It’s funny because I know the ideas are there – I wrote down a bunch of possible chapters & categories years ago. I’m just feeling so stifled, bogged down and boxed in by my own heavy-headedness and repeated thoughts – most of the same thoughts I had yesterday, and the day before.

Apparently we each have 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day – of those, 90 percent are about our own needs, wants and concerns, 80 percent are negative, and according to research about 98 percent are the same thoughts we had the day before.

It’s no wonder I’m feeling sluggish and my head feels like it is being squeezed – too many rehashed, negative thoughts that apparently have not been resolved yet, and…I’m mainly thinking about myself! Talk about self-involved! Of course writing a personal blog is touched with a wee bit of narcissism.

Maybe I should do a purging – of the mind, heart and spirit. Actions speak louder than words…except when the action is writing down the words.

Review: The Lucky Lady Anne of Cleves - Henry's Fouth Wife

I recommend this book to anyone who has a yearning to learn more about the Tudor Dynasty, and this extraordinary woman who, through no fault of her own, took the role and circumstances in which she found herself cast in and made the most of her life.

The Olde English in messages throughout the book were most likely excerpts from actual historical documents combined with the more modern simplistic conversational dialogue throughout the work made it easier to read, understand, process, and enjoy the story.

Sometimes you can get so wrapped up in the language in pieces from this time period and deciphering the meaning of dialogue can be frustrating and discouraging in written works - Shakespeare for instance if you are reading it vs. seeing the plays performed – that you give up or put the piece of work down.

I’m fairly new to learning about the Tudor dynasty history. Apart from watching a few movies over the past few several years, a book or 2, and watching the TV series, “The Tudors”, my knowledge is limited other than the basics that practically everyone knows about Henry XIII, his wives, how he “disposed” of them, the religious struggles, his children and basics of the Tudor dynasty.

The book portrays the growth of Anne as a simple and naive, yet intelligent young lady, who due to circumstances beyond her control, took the conditions in which she found herself in and with grace, humility and dignity – strived in the uncertain times and situation.

Even though she lived a short time and was The Queen of England for what seems like a split-second, compared to the fates of Henry VIII’s other wives, I would conclude that Lady Anne of Cleves, was indeed, the luckiest of them all.

 

The Lucky Lady Anne of Cleves - Henry's Fouth Wife

 

David Lawrence-Young
GMTA (Great Minds Think Aloud) Publishers
Published April 2013
Disclaimer:
This book was provided to reviewer from the author directly after a request for another book through NetGalley for the sole purpose of reading and review.

Review of Marilyn: Norma Jeane

I am so happy that I was able have the opportunity to read and review this electronic version of the 1988 book. I will definitely take a look at the original publication to view all the photos more closely.

I’m fairly new to requesting, reading and reviewing books from NetGalley that I almost missed this one! I didn’t realize until last week that I’m only allotted less than 2 months to read these books that the publishers so graciously trust me with before they go “Poof” from my Nook.

It’s a good thing that it’s a fairly short book and I was able to read it in its entirety today.

Gloria Steinem has compiled a compelling overview of the life of Marilyn Monroe (and Norma Jeane) that is part biography, part psychological profile, part picture book, part history, part feminist study, part speculation – all wrapped around very natural pictures of Marilyn Monroe, not long before her death in August 1962.

It cleverly seesaws back and forth between Norma Jeane and her ascent to become, and be, Marilyn Monroe. Filled with quotes from Marilyn herself, along with historical facts, hearsay, and other nuggets depicted in other publications – we are able to see her sparkling star power – an effervescence that from all accounts shines through.

 She was a gentle spirit, craving love and stability – a little girl lost who unfortunately didn’t find her way in time. She constantly craved a solid, steady mother-figure in the women she surrounded herself with and a father-figure in the men who she met, loved, and married. But the isolation, loneliness, and neediness of this child-woman caught up with her and she was taken away too soon.

It’s uncanny to me reading this, the little tidbits Marilyn Monroe/Norma Jeane and I have in common.

• We both have a physical body developed too fast.
• I share her eagerness to read, learn and grow.
• One of her heroes was Abraham Lincoln. She wrote an essay and I wrote a book report – both in Junior High.

“With enough self-knowledge to recognize her own behavior, but not enough self-confidence to change it,” Ms. Steinem writes before quoting Marilyn herself (pg. 110). WOW! I can relate to that!

Steinem writes pieces about Norma Jeane, about Marilyn and then as many of the information throughout the book suggests – as both halves of the same person intermingled and one fighting the other that always seems to be fighting to be kept at bay.

Her insecurities are always there – I can tell from what I do know and what I’ve read in this book that she was in a constant struggle to keep the demons of her past out of her head, her need and constant craving to be loved and wanted, her thirst for knowledge and not to be seen as she was in many of her movies as the sexpot, dumb blonde.

Just when I was wondering what would have happened, had she lived longer and not died in such a theatrical way with all the mystery, conspiracy theories and speculation surrounding her untimely demise, I go a few pages further and that’s what the last chapter is about (although it was originally published in the late-80s when she’d be in her 60s).

Would she have made it as an aging actress at a time when aging actresses weren’t revered and their talents weren’t acknowledged as they are more today?

Would she have been able to make it in more serious roles, or as a character actress?

Would she still be a legend or would Marilyn Monroe just fade into the darkness and been a has-been?

We’ll never know. So, we’re left with the films and pictures of this pretty brunette, who became a platinum blonde icon with her sexy walk and husky voice – forever implanted in our minds.

I’ve only seen, “The Seven Year Itch” and “Some Like It Hot” – I will be expanding on that list and I look forward to reading more on Marilyn/Norma Jeane. Thanks for the glimpse Ms. Steinem!

 

Marilyn: Norma Jeane

By Gloria Steinem
Photographs by George Barris

Open Road Integrated Media
Published March 2013
Original Publication 1988

Disclaimer:
This book was provided to reviewer from the publisher, Open Road Integrated Media through NetGalley for the sole purpose of reading and review.

Anatomy of a Love Story

Dream,
Moonlight,
Wish,
Star,
Search,
Hope,
Wait,
Hello,
Heartbeat,
Fast,
Moment,
Breathe,
Look,
Eyes,
Sparkle,
Warmth,

Smile,
Light,
Lips,
Taste,
Kiss,
Arms,
Touch,
Hand,
Hold,
Caress,
Embrace,
Magic,
Steps,
Simple,
Words,
Rhyme,
Roses,
Wine,
Drift,
Float,
Lost,
Found,
Catch,
Wonder,
Fall,
Awe,
Feel,
Heat,
Melt,
Thrill,
Fascinate,
Amazed,
First Time,
Want,
Need,
Give,
Take,
Now,
Everything,
Connect,
Body,
Soul,
Heaven,
Paradise,
Beauty,
Lovely,
Special,
Sweet,
Darling,
Angel,
Valentine,
Precious,
Greatest,
Emotion,
Desire,
Sensual,
Sexy,
Passion,
Within,
Secrets,
Open,
Feeling,
Closer,
Support,
Faith,
Strength,
Spirit,
Cherish,
Care,
Happy,
Heart,
Real,
You,
Me,
Together,
Realize,
Mine,
Partners,
Whole,
Know,
Right,
True,
Reason,
Only You,
Promise,
Time,
Complete,
Soulmate,
Destiny,
Life,
Always,
Forever,
Eternity,
Memories,
Dream come true,
I Love You,
Happily ever after,
All my Love, all my Life.

Copyright 2013
Laurie J. Bokuniewicz



Review: Fine Cooking Comfort Food: 200 Delicious Recipes for Soul-Warming Meals

I love to cook comfort food. I think that is my "Genre" when I cook. My cooking personality is right in line with my Zodiac sign - Taurus.

I crave comfort, security and stability (although I've given up on this in the career sector of my life because if I didn't I would have gone completely crazy by now).

But getting back to the subject at hand...

Fine Cooking Comfort Food by Fine Cooking Magazine is a book that has an abundance of classic comfort good recipes (Beef Stew with Root Vegetables, pg. 48; Turkey Noodle Casserole, pg. 91; and Classic Scalloped Potatoes, pg. 208), basic cooking tips & secrets (How to Make the Perfect Omelet, pg. 163; How to Ice a Cake, pg. 231), as well as twists on the "standards" (Apple Crisp with Pecans and Orange, pg. 233; Turkey Soup with Dill, Parsley and Chive Dumplings; and Braised Beef Short Ribs with Salsa Verde and Feta, pg. 120).

When I thought of the perfect comfort pasta dish, I turned to the first page of the section and what did I find...Baked Macaroni & Cheese! I made it, shared it and it's was a hit so I'll be making again and again! Then, the next 4 recipes consist of variations on the classic - Pulled-Pork Macaroni & Cheese with Caramelized Onions and Four Cheeses, pg. 78; Tex-Mex Macaroni & Cheese with Green Chiles, pg. 79; Quick Skillet Mac and Cheese, pg. 80; and Shells with Gorgonzola, pg. 81).

Even in an electronic format, the bounty of pictures portrayed the simple, colorful, crisp elegance of comfort food - making your mouth water and your tummy growl.

I think this is a great first cookbook! I'm looking forward to making a purchase and giving it as a housewarming gift for the next friend's kid or one of my cousins who moves into their first "grown-up" pad -  there are 17 of us on one side ages 23 - 46, plus my cousins' kids who range from 1 month to 23!

I make my own Cream of Broccoli Soup, and of course I forget to write it down so it never comes out the same way twice! The last few times it hasn't been as good as previous attempts. So, I'm looking forward to trying the Broccoli Soup with Bacon, pg. 10 recipe from this book.

Even though it's April and I live in SoCal, it's still a little chilly at night, so I'll be making "Classic Grilled Cheese" (pg. 186), and paring it with, what else, but "Classic Tomato Soup" (pg. 4)!

 

Fine Cooking Comfort Food: 200 Delicious Recipes for Soul-Warming Meals

Fine Cooking Magazine

The Taunton Press, Inc.
Publication Date: Nov 8 2011

Disclaimer:
This book was provided to reviewer from the publisher, The Taunton Press, Inc., through NetGalley for the sole purpose of reading and review.