Gone Girl - a Review

I finally read “Gone Girl”, and…I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’m not sure if I can truly say I liked it that much. I finished it, so I know I wasn’t un-enthralled with the story and wanted to put it down and was not interested in picking it up again.

It was engaging, but hard because of the continuous twists and turns throughout the book. While reading the first part, I did try to guess what really happened and who did it. My sympathies kept changing between the characters. And, even when I knew I should not feel bad for “the bad guy”, I did, a few times.

I’m a gal who likes closure. You wouldn’t think it because I'm “Living My Life by the Seat of My Pants”, BUT in my books, I like closure.

Even books that are part of a series have some sort of closure to at least close up that part of the entire story. I was left empty. Wanting more but not in the way when I really like a story I want it to continue. I can say that from how it “ended”, if Gillian Flynn moved forward in the Nick & Amy story, I really wouldn’t want to read on and see what happens next because I think it would just depress me.

The book is filled to the max with a myriad of psychological/mystery/thriller emotions and character traits – Depression, Revenge, Vindictive, Lonely, Diabolical, Cheated, Psychopath, Murderous – Trapped.

I think anyone who likes books in this genre it’s a definite must to have under your belt. But, can I personally say I was intrigued enough to just recommend it to anyone…I don’t think so.

The writing was beautiful. The intricacies of story line elements - brilliant. Caring enough about how it all turned out at the end of the book to want to know what happens next…not so much.

At the end, with all the hype from people about it – I think I was a little disappointed. But, that is not to say that I won’t read other Gillian Flynn books…and, I will see the movie because I think with all the twists and turns, and interesting characters – it may be one of the few movies that I like better than the book.

My Dad

My Dad is big and strong,
He works real hard all day long.

He cares for his family with pride and respect,
Even if he does not know what will come next.

He supports his kids even if they are wrong,
He taught us to stand up for our convictions, to be steady, courageous and strong.

He cheers us on when we are right,
He provides comfort and warmth so we’ll sleep well at night.

My Dad can be goofy and silly,
And sometimes we’d take drives willy-nilly.

He taught me to be good and kind,
And to help those in need and never turn an eye blind.

He never punished out of turn,
And always taught me the good life lessons I have learned.

He lifts me up when I feel down,
With his positive encouragement, I have a limited frown.

I never had to be perfect, but always try my best,
And treat others with patience, love and respect.

He makes me laugh, smile and bellow,
Cause he can be a happy, funny, nutty fellow.

He dances with me every chance he gets,
And if I was in a competition, for me, he would bet.

He’s always there for his brothers and sisters, all family and friends,
When My Dad’s in your life, you’ve got a friend til the end.

All in all, I’m the good person I am today,
Because My Daddy helped me become that way.

Chocolate Cake for Breakfast

It really is a good thing to be a single grown up…most of the time. You can make your own choices, be the head of the household, make your own way, decorate how you choose, and eat what you want – when you want it.

I remember Bill Cosby had as part of his act in the late 70s/early 80s, a skit where he fed the kids Chocolate Cake for Breakfast. The kids were going on singing, “Dad is great - Gives us the Chocolate Cake!” His wife, on the other hand, was not so happy with this parenting decision.

Cake contains many things found in breakfast foods – eggs, wheat, some sugar (found in lots of cereals) and milk. So why the hell not eat it once in awhile for breakfast! For that matter, eat Ice Cream for breakfast! That may actually contain some fruit!

I now think I found a decent compromise for one of my main, regular cereal choices – Honey Bunches of Oats. It has grain cereal, a hint of honey, granola and nuts. Of course there are times when I just crave a bowl of Sugar Pops, Apple Jacks, Crunch Berries or Cocoa Puffs.

But when I give into that crave and buy a box of any of them, then I eventually end up throwing half a box away…after it’s been opened for months. I will now look for the single serving multi-pack boxes, but of course they always throw in a box of something good for you, like Raisin Bran!

It’s not an everyday occurrence that I find myself with this option. But as I sit here eating some delectable chocolaty yummyness left over from a friend’s birthday with a cup of Cinnamon & Carmel Macchiato coffee, I think of how fortunate I am that I can choose this, and savor it and delight in it.

It’s good to be the Queen!

Let It Go!!!

A few weeks ago I was at a very low point. I was tired of the “Endless Revolving Door” that seems to be my life.

Mind you, I say it “seems to be” – not, “It is”. Because if I truly believe “IT IS” my life, then where would I go? Just round and round again instead of putting my foot firmly down to stop the door, move it a smidge – just enough to squeeze through - and burst out into the sunlight and make the decision to change what seems to be, or stay stuck and in an endless loop of a not-so-much-fun merry-go-round.

Everyone is on the “Let It Go” from “Frozen” kick!  I didn’t realize that I am too, but in a much different way. I “downloaded” everything I was feeling and experiencing, and presented it to my friends, family & anyone else who wanted to listen. It made me very vulnerable, but that was my choice to open up…and share, not just write it and “fahgettaboudit.”

If you have never read The Sedona Method, you should. Actually, ANY self-help, mind-body, “new-fad guru make you feel happy book” will do. They really do help. Even if you just take a main theme or strategy and it stays lingering somewhere in the back of your mind…it’s worth cracking open a book, listening to an audio file, watching a webinar or taking a course.

Ask friends, ask family, and ask strangers…they’ll tell you if something worked for them. I’ve noticed more now than ever before, people will give you their opinion and promote or refute ideas, products, services, music, books, TV shows, everything! It’s the power of technology and the explosion of social media and the transparency it gives us into the world around us – the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s the price we pay for technology and information at your fingertips.

The basis of The Sedona Method is taking things that are in your life – now or in the past, anything that is interrupting it and making you miserable or just unhappy or unfulfilled, and bring it to the forefront of your consciousness and having you ponder the question, “Can I let this go?”

I started reading the book some time ago and put it down, but still have a bookmark in place – could have been a year or a few years. Of course I put it down in Part I at the section where they want you to “do the work”. That’s usually a place where I stop. It is the place where you have to start exposing yourself…usually to yourself. That’s some scary stuff!!!

But, the fact that I remembered what the basis of the method is and what it’s all about – well, that has to say something about the program and that even though I’m not aware of it; the strategies are rolling around in this “big bulbous brain” of mine (2 points if you can tell me where this sentiment is from, and 3 more points if you know who said it).

Well, I just opened it up and what do you think starts on the very next page???  It’s the first exercise in Chapter 7 – Letting Go of the Four Basic Wants. As I flipped over the next few pages, the other exercises are there and they all are “Written Releasing” exercises!

Without even being aware of it, that is just what I did in my last Blog post.

And…I’ve been thinking if not finding a job yet and the stress it’s caused me is only about the increasingly precarious financial issues I’ve found myself in. And I’ve come to the conclusion, for better or worse, it’s not. It’s also about how it’s made me feel about myself, my skills, my experiences, my work, the trail I’ve taken so far, things I’ve worked for, things I haven’t done that I should have or wanted to do, everything that has brought me to here and now.

I’ve thought of whether or not I should just change my career path or even my life course for that matter and try to stop “Living Life by the Seat of My Pants”.  And this self-discovery road I’ve been on, but have only taken baby steps in and have yet to delve into who I am, what do I want, why am I here – maybe it’s just the right time to do it.

I’m now at the point where I’ve had an interview with a potential boss and the president of the company, as well as several team members, and references have been called…now it’s time to play a game. The Waiting Game! Oooooo fun!

The really funny thing is that the maximum pay for the job is what I ended at a job 13 years ago. The benefits are nil, and it’s farther than I’ve travelled for a job in a decade.  BUT, the products are really cool, the people I’d be working with seem very nice, creative and dedicated to making the company succeed, and I can see the potential for growth – both professionally and personally.

So, if offered I intend to accept with a resounding, “YES!”

So, as I said at the end of my last post – Tomorrow IS another day. And, it WAS another day and after I had partaken in a Written Release exercise (without even knowing it), I found that no matter what happens next, it was truly a release and I can LET IT GO!!!

Onwards and Upwards! CHARGE!!!

Endless Revolving Door

Unemployed - again.

No love life – still.

No children – ever.

Dream job – not likely.

It’s frustrating and it makes me sad and angry. And I’ve had lots of bursts of anger and have voiced those frustrations more and more in the past few years. I can chock it up to peri-menopause, or pre-menopause or whatever it is. But in the end I just feel hurt and more frustrated.

I can cry about it & I have, but then I just feel drained, tired, and have little to no ambition. I don’t want to do anything other than sit in front of the TV and be numb watching the same shows that I’ve seen numerous times already. I don’t even watch anything new that will make me engage more.

I’m trying to get out of the funk, but it’s becoming harder and harder each day as I sit in my little cottage, surrounded by more stuff because I had to get rid of my storage (which I did want to do). But now I am stuck here because funds are so low that I need to conserve gas because I won’t have money until the 18^th since my next unemployment check (which I am thankful for) is all going to pay my rent, leaving me with $5 for another 2 weeks.  And, I need to save that gas to get me to interviews. It's aggravating and depressing, and I can't believe I'm in this type of situation - again.

I shouldn’t bitch and moan about it since I have a friend whose unemployment ran out and she has 2 kids, and absolutely nothing coming in but welfare that pays her rent. I’m trying to be grateful because it’s only bills that will be late. Bills that I myself made and am responsible for – bills that are still there year after year because of this endless revolving door I seem to find myself going in, and around and around again.

I’m just tired and drained. Every day I wake up and the situation just smacks me right in the face. It’s like getting up, turning the corner and walking headfirst into a wall. SLAM! OOF!

I have lived here for almost 9 years and I’m still not settled in. It’s not a sanctuary, and your home should be your happy place – the place to unwind and relax and rejuvenate.

People have been telling me to move back East, or at least suggesting that I think about it which I am. But what happens when I move back and am still miserable? I can’t just pack back up & head back out West again.  I know the weather isn’t a reason to stay, but it does make things lighter. I can go to the harbor or the beach, and take a walk near the water and look at the beauty and the boats and just mellow.

I need to find a place that is home. Someplace where I can make a life that is fulfilling. And find something that fulfills me. It’s not going to come from having a family of my own. That ship has just about sailed and is never passing this way again – at least not in this lifetime. 

At this point I don’t think it’s going to come from a “Dream Job” because I’m so desperate (again); I’ll just end up taking any job that’s offered because I have to (again). I’ve been going round and round in circles for years with only temporary pit-stops where things seem to be headed in the right direction (whatever direction that may be).  And then, it comes to a crashing halt…or it just slips through the cracks and sneaks up on me.

I know. I know. Most of this is a temporary setback – again. But I’m just so tired and my brain is so foggy and refuses to clear itself up. I can’t seem to shake it away and dust myself off. I’m usually good about turning it around and lifting myself out of my ruts but this one has seemed to go on for far too long and it’s really starting to piss me off!

I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse, but because I am who I am, I will keep on trucking along – even if it’s around in circles. I’m an optimist at heart and that’s what will get me through. It’s up to me to choose how I handle everything that’s been thrown at me - or maybe the problem is that nothing has been thrown my way in quite some time. Maybe all I needed was to do a “brain dump” and get this off my chest and out of my head. Who knows? But we’ll see because I’m done pouring myself out and it’s time for bed.

Tomorrow IS another day.

Jennifer’s Way: My Journey with Celiac Disease-What Doctors Don’t Tell You and How You Can Learn to Live Again – A Review

I didn’t watch “Spin City” very much, and I only watch “Blue Bloods” when I am with my parents (but it’s a wonderful show), I have never seen “Crash”, but I did watch "Samantha Who?", yet Jennifer Esposito is such a strong, natural and profound presence in her acting - I remember a wonderful show she was the lead in that lasted only a season “Related” - that I immediately asked my mother when we were watching “Blue Bloods” earlier this year where was she. She said that she had some disease – maybe MS or Parkinson’s. She had no idea.

So, when I had the opportunity to read and review her book for my blog, “Jennifer’s Way”, I jumped at the chance. Jennifer’s Way is not only a book and a bakery, but a foundation for Celiac education.

I do not have Celiac disease (definition at the end). And until I read Jennifer Esposito’s account of her experiences, I would never have thought twice about it unless I knew someone who had it, and I think I may know a handful of people who are “allergic to gluten and/or dairy”, as well as other foods, or who have been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, or have Lupus, and have a few other symptoms but may never have been thoroughly diagnosed or even misdiagnosed. I don’t want to put them in a panic, but I will be encouraging them to read this book.

But, according to Jennifer, I probably wouldn’t know if someone is a celiac because it’s a disease that sufferers will most likely keep quiet about other than telling people they are allergic to or can’t process gluten. I didn’t realize everything that does or may contain gluten until I read the book (Chapter 17 is filled with a plethora of information on foods, products, and strategies to take).

I have to be honest here, for those of us who don’t suffer from any food allergies (or none that I know of so far), most probably really don’t know the first thing about it other than once in awhile eating or drinking something that “doesn’t agree with us”.  It’s hard for me to imagine how to test for a food allergy since in my mind it could be something else you ate earlier or a combination of food and drink. I have to admit, I’m 47 and I don’t know really, how long it takes for food and drink to digest fully.

I have to applaud Jennifer Esposito for her candid, honest and openly sharing her story with this hidden disease and her perseverance to push through and rebuild her life. Since she is a public figure, it’s even more brave and giving of her to open her heart, pass on her experience and share her wisdom so others who may, or may not have celiac disease can come out of the shadows and take the bull by the horns and be heard.

I admire her persistence to find out what exactly was wrong with her, and her tenacity to take charge and change doctors and practitioners who weren’t working for her, and her courage to tell the world her story and to pass on vital information.

She’s right. You know your body better than anyone else does. Go with what your gut, so to speak, is telling you and you can’t go wrong.

I never listened to my body unless I was in pain, sick or bleeding. I’d be more aware if I woke up but still felt tired all day, was drained of energy, had a foggy head, had achy muscles, or if I was in a funk or fog that I couldn’t seem to shake…for me, it’s usually my over-taxed, over-thinking, over-stressing mind playing nasty tricks on me!

Over the past 15 years or so, when I started having my own tummy issues, I opened my ears and started listening to my body and can now tell when something isn’t quite right. I started focusing on what I ate, drank or if I was over-stressed – I tried to distinguish any patterns or triggers. Wednesday’s were the only consistent variable for awhile - although I'm still not sure why. But to this day I still listen and learn what my body is trying to tell me.

And, you have to be tenacious and persistent with your doctors. That is one thing I am going to be next time I visit a doctor. I have a few ailments I’ve been bogged down with for years and have been brushed off by doctors who are too lazy, really don’t care, or just don’t know enough but are too proud to admit it to pass me along to someone who may be able to serve me better.

I highly recommend Jennifer’s Way for anyone who is challenged with Celiac disease, knows someone who has it, as well as anyone who wants to read one woman’s account of how you should be aware, engaged and open about what is going on with your body, and to be proactive in finding out what is really going on and to take action to rectify it.

The information in Chapter 17 and the Resources section are worth it – for everyone. I’m going to take this information and pay more attention to what I put into my body, as well as see if any of the vitamins, supplements or strategies work for me. I luckily don’t suffer from celiac disease, but this new knowledge I now possess will be passed on to those I care about, as well as help me to be more mindful.

I think restaurant owners should also read this book and hopefully become more aware of people with food issues and understand fully about cross-contamination that could happen even when they are preparing food for folks with special diets if they even choose to serve these people, as well as food manufacturers and packagers, to understand what truly gluten-free is if they make these products and to take responsibility…not to just make money on the fad diet of the day.

Thank you to Jennifer Esposito for giving back and sharing – your journey, your bravery, your tools, your courage, your knowledge, your tenacity, your recipes, your insight, your advice, your power, and your heart. I personally wish you all the best health and happiness, and do hope that you will stay in the public eye and grace us from time to time with your rare acting gifts.

Celiac disease is an autoimmune digestive disease that damages the villi of the small intestine and interferes with absorption of nutrients from food. What does this mean? Essentially the body is attacking itself every time a person with celiac consumes gluten.

Jennifer’s Way
My Journey with Celiac Disease--What Doctors Don’t Tell You and How You Can Learn to Live Again
Jennifer Esposito with Eve Adamson
Pub Date: April 22, 2014
Perseus Books Group, Da Capo Press


Disclaimer: This book was provided to reviewer from the publisher, Perseus Books Group, Da Capo Press through NetGalley for the sole purpose of reading and review.

Review of: Laughing Your Way to Happiness: Laughter yoga and the new science of health and well-being

I cannot wait to find a Laughter Yoga class & take it!!!

Just reading "Laughing Your Way to Happiness" and Leslie Lyle’s adventures makes me smile…and spontaneously laugh! When I think about it, laughing really does make you feel immediately better – instantly! So why not create a yoga structure around it to improve health and well-being.

I've been sitting in my big red chair reading and enjoying, shifting a little so often trying to get comfortable because I can never get in the right position to just be still & read. Usually by back starts to bother me, and I get a pain or a cramp down my hip & leg.

The last few days when I’ve “picked up” this book (it’s on my Nook) – I still fidget a bit to get comfy, but my lower back has been FREE of this knotted PAIN that I’ve basically had most days for over a year!

If I can feel better just by reading the book and reviewing the many exercises the author added to get the reader laughing, then just imagine what it’ll feel like laughing every day – strategically laughing with purpose and passion.

Some of the exercise may seem difficult to get into and understand, especially alone, but many people will probably feel silly doing laughing exercises in a group. It definitely depends on your personality. I know I wouldn’t feel silly, but I can think of a handful of friends who are a little more on the introverted side when it comes to doing certain things in public (even if it is in a “safe” environment such as a laughter yoga class).

The only thing I felt was missing were more in-depth instructions/examples – they just touched the surface. The example and links to other reference materials included in the book are plentiful. I think this is an excellent jumping off point of reference and a valuable introduction to a different kind of yogic practice – and one I’m looking forward to exploring more!

Laugh Your Way to Happiness:Laughter yoga and the new science of health and well-being
Leslie Lyle
Pub Date: February 28, 2014
Watkins Publishing


Disclaimer: This book was provided to reviewer from the publisher, Watkins Publishing through NetGalley for the sole purpose of reading and review.